Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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