just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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