Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Randomize
