Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
