Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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