i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
