I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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