I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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