I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Randomize