Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
