she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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