If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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