Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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