3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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