Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
