halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
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