Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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