so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
