Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
I think people are normalizing furries
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
