the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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