Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
