I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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