I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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