I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
