Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (989): View more from Michigan

  Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She can rap better than you any day

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  (989): Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend! (248): She can rap better than you any day http://tfl.nu/bu9h
  Replies (4) Good night (2656) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women

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  (708): You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women http://tfl.nu/qt4m
  Replies (11) Good night (774) Bad night (1825)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.

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  (631): My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you. http://tfl.nu/4nkq
  Replies (7) Good night (5398) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?

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  (775): Why is the garage door in the middle of the street? http://tfl.nu/rc41
  Replies (13) Good night (4262) Bad night (1590)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.

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  (502): After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza. http://tfl.nu/j0sn
  Replies (5) Good night (3907) Bad night (884)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?

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  (631): At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you? http://tfl.nu/rik1
  Replies (5) Good night (3786) Bad night (951)
• Favorite

  (309): View more from Illinois

  I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.

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  (309): I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you. http://tfl.nu/n7q4
  Replies (3) Good night (1984) Bad night (707)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.

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  (310): Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well. http://tfl.nu/39wu
  Replies (20) Good night (7672) Bad night (772)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?

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  (207): Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims? http://tfl.nu/se1q
  Replies (7) Good night (1569) Bad night (559)
• Favorite

  (606): View more from Kentucky

  The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.

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  (606): The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire. http://tfl.nu/g319
  Replies (6) Good night (631) Bad night (1096)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire

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  (484): if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire http://tfl.nu/0try
  Replies (14) Good night (2558) Bad night (857)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.

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  (602): All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina. http://tfl.nu/kqy9
  Replies (4) Good night (1298) Bad night (477)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.

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  (214): Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon. http://tfl.nu/qoak
  Replies (2) Good night (758) Bad night (338)
• Favorite

  (620): View more from Kansas

  I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.

  (510): View more from California

  I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.

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  (620): I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween. (510): I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween. http://tfl.nu/39pv
  Replies (3) Good night (756) Bad night (309)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.

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  (630): I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today. http://tfl.nu/40uh
  Replies (0) Good night (295) Bad night (419)

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