Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations. http://tfl.nu/j5w5
  Replies (48) Good night (4879) Bad night (1884)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal. http://tfl.nu/4lbo
  Replies (6) Good night (1001) Bad night (2083)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.

  (1-520): View more from Arizona

  Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well. (1-520): Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand. http://tfl.nu/cdsz
  Replies (1) Good night (2077) Bad night (938)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (501): Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money. http://tfl.nu/efs0
  Replies (5) Good night (2359) Bad night (788)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (717): Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that. http://tfl.nu/aa8o
  Replies (4) Good night (1588) Bad night (752)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (484): announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention. http://tfl.nu/v327
  Replies (11) Good night (2138) Bad night (524)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night. http://tfl.nu/mxyx
  Replies (7) Good night (2403) Bad night (601)
• Favorite

  (587): View more from Alberta

  Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (587): Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant? http://tfl.nu/fsev
  Replies (11) Good night (1421) Bad night (1654)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions. http://tfl.nu/8zye
  Replies (4) Good night (1243) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting! http://tfl.nu/ctqc
  Replies (3) Good night (1382) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (647): I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me. http://tfl.nu/s96j
  Replies (4) Good night (990) Bad night (421)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on http://tfl.nu/2woc
  Replies (6) Good night (869) Bad night (402)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (603): seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed. http://tfl.nu/l8pu
  Replies (6) Good night (280) Bad night (451)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life http://tfl.nu/zhdb
  Replies (2) Good night (406) Bad night (555)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable". http://tfl.nu/1zry
  Replies (2) Good night (261) Bad night (348)

Randomize