you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
