it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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