Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
never play flip cup with pint glasses
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways