Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I'm really busy with my period
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