??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
