I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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