My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
