My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
