did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
29 “I’m Getting Old” Moments
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
19 Worst Song Lyrics of All Time
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count