Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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