Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
