You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
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I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
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Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
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