just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
