"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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