I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
