you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Randomize
