Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
