i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize