i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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