so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
