Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
