i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
be right there i have to get my cape
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
