i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Randomize
