THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I'm like, not good at living.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Randomize
