forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
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