I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
