Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
