I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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