Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
