i already hear my dad disowning me
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
