I love black thongs
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
