i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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