just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
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