So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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