Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
