hotel room ftw
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
