There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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