I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
