You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
