I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
