Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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